Cross Check: The second Posh Hits story Page 10

  There was no reply. I looked up to see what Matt was doing. He was handing a couple of the photos to Sid, and Sid was looking at them the way he looks at healthy margarine or green beans.

  Matt looked at me. “Did you look at all of these?” He asked. His voice was neutral. He only does that when he’s holding back. I shook my head, reached out my hand for them. Sid passed them to me, and exchanged a look with his son.

  I was already feeling sick before I looked at the photos, but what I saw confused me.

  “But that’s me at Monica’s memorial service,” I said. I felt completely muddled. Initially, when I first looked at the two pictures Sid gave me, I felt relief. I don’t know what I thought I would see, but a picture of myself in my lovely black frock, smiling sadly and shaking hands with one of Monica’s sisters, was not the terror I had been expecting. But then, realisation hit me.

  “Why would there be a recent picture of me?” I asked. “Nadina said Monica had said in her will that these items were of sentimental value to her and I. I don’t get it.”

  Matt and Sid said nothing.

  “How could she will to me something that she didn’t have yet?” I asked. I could hear the pitch of my voice getting higher.

  Matt and Sid were watching me closely, which in itself was unnerving. I looked at the next photo. It was me again, again in a black dress, white-faced and gaunt, supported by Jess on one side and Sid on the other, Lill in a black coat hovering anxiously behind us. I gasped as my memories furnished the setting.

  “But – but that’s – that’s Thomas’ funeral!” I said. I sat back down. I dropped the photos on the floor and put my hands to my forehead, feeling confused, upset, my head aching with emotion. “She wasn’t there. I don’t understand what this means!” I began to cry. Matt sat next to me, pulling me into his arms again, like a child and held me.

  “Neither do I,” he said grimly, “but I’m damned well going to find out.”

  Saturday 26 July – 10.45am

  I didn’t do anything about it yesterday – too upset. Don’t know why. It seems completely irrational of me. I don’t even understand it myself, am quite surprised at how off balance this whole thing has made me feel. But there – maybe it’s just because I’m pregnant, maybe I’m just more sensitive than usual? But also on another level, I expected Sid and Matt and Lill to scoff at my concerns and to tease me out of them. They haven’t. If anything, they are every bit as upset as I am and that’s a worry too – I know my judgement’s a bit off due to my pregnant state, so I was relying on them to see with clearer, less hysterical eyes. All they’ve done is confirm my fear there is something wrong here. But what? And why? It feels like some kind of threat.

  Anyway, I rang Nadina this morning, just thought I’d try to check with her that what she’d sent was what Monica (Monny!!!) actually wanted me to have, and if poss try to find out WHY?????

  But all to no avail. The phone rang and rang for ages before anyone picked up. And then, just as I was about to hang up, it was Jeremy (never liked him!) who answered. He sounded a bit flustered, which made me think she was standing there in the doorway miming orders at him. I could picture her in one of her long, dreary tiny-print frocks, issuing silent orders with a wave of her hand.

  He said she was out. But, I don’t know why, I didn’t believe him. I asked when she was due back, he blustered a bit, said he wasn’t certain, but he’d make absolutely sure that the minute she came home, he would tell her I rang and ask her to call me back.

  I didn’t believe him for a moment. And I don’t believe that she’ll call me back. And I know she wasn’t really out.

  But why? Why all this subterfuge? I mean, I can understand her thinking I’d be disappointed with the package she sent me ‘from Monica’. And I am. In fact, disappointed doesn’t begin to cover it! But that’s hardly Nadina’s fault is it? Or is it? What in the name of fuck is going on here?

  Huff. Have been sitting here in the family-room singing merrily away to ‘the wheels on the bus’ with the little ones, and at the same time the cogs in my brain went round and round, round and round, round and round, the cogs in my brain – well, you get the idea.

  What if Monica bequeathed me something in her will, and for some reason Nadina has kept it? Or lost it, broken it, given it to another friend, whatever? What if, for example, in addition to those crappy DVDs, and those dodgy photos, Monica left me her Longines watch, or one of her Phillip Lim handbags? Oh I do hope it’s that gorgeous little black hobo bag!!! Well I suppose whatever it was, it doesn’t much matter now, because Nadina (Nad!!!! Still can’t get over that atrocity!) has either given it to a friend, sold it on eBay or donated it to her school jumble sale, or of course, she might have simply kept it for herself – who’s to know what Monica actually left me when it comes down to it? I mean, I wasn’t at the reading of the will, so how do I really know what happened, what Monica said, what she bequeathed me?

  And I’ve inherited – what? A DVD of a film I’ve not seen – or wanted to see – for fifteen years, and another of a film that had some of the direst repercussions imaginable and completely destroyed my life. Why would I want either of those?

  Okay, I’ve had a think and sung the chorus to about half a dozen songs on the kiddies TV programmes. All three of us have had a glass of milk and a pile of Lill’s home-made chocolate chip cookies. (Yes she’s back on form, almost. She’s supposed to be on light duties today, which basically means, no heavy cleaning and Matt is doing dinner. Thank God she’s well enough to bake!)

  I mean, I can see why Monica in her warped, lunatic way might have wanted me to have the Strangers DVD, we did at least go and see that one together, we had a lovely evening and it was, one way or another, of earth-shattering significance. But the other one? I’ve never seen it with Monica, never even discussed it with her. It means nothing either to me as an individual or to the two of us as friends. And neither of these has anything whatsoever to do with Nadina. So I just - don’t - get - it.

  And then there are the photos.

  I’ve had another look through them. It’s just too weird for words, and I don’t know now if it’s just that I’m making too much of this, or if there really is something very odd about this.

  I can’t get away from it. Because how could Monica have a photo of me at her own memorial service? I keep thinking there must be some bizarre reason – maybe she stipulated in her will that someone should take photos of all the attendees at her memorial service and send everyone copies, a bit like people sometimes do for their wedding guests. But that seems like a really odd idea. And more than a little creepy. Surely there could have been people there who might have quite liked her, and therefore might even have been a bit upset about her being dead?

  This is all too much for my aching little brain.

  Ooh goody, Postman Pat!

  Same day – later – 8.15pm

  I have just had a phone call from Nadina. And something is deffo fishy, though I’m still can’t quite put my finger on what it is. I’m beginning to think she is just lying through her teeth. Something I never expected of her, of all people.

  First of all, was a bit surprised she rang me back at all, because I still believe she was at home, and she made Jeremy answer the phone, because she didn’t want to talk to me. Be that as it may, she did ring me. Maybe it was just easier to get it over with? So we had a little introductory casual chat about how we were and how changeable the weather is etc, all very boring and English.

  Then I thanked her for the package, and she sounded surprised I had already received it, and if anything a bit worried. So then I asked her oh-so-casually, “why on earth do you suppose Monica wanted me to have those DVDs?”

  “I assumed it’s because those films were special to you?” She said, trying to sound light and fluffy, but her voice was pitched just a shade too high to sound anything approaching normal. Or innocent.

  “No,” I said firmly, “we went to see the Hitchcock one at the pictures but n
ot the other one, that means nothing to myself or Monica as far as I’m aware.”

  She did a little tinkly laugh, and chills ran down my back, it sounded so like Monica for a moment. “Think about it, Cressy, it’ll no doubt come to you.” There was something in the way she said it, and not just because she called me Cressy. But if she had been in front of me at that moment, I would have been sorely tempted to slap her right across the face. I took a cleansing breath and moved on.

  “And then there are those photographs. Where on earth did you dig those up from?” I did a tinkly little laugh of my own. Two can play at that game, bitch, I thought. “They’re absolutely awful!”

  “Oh are they? I’m afraid I didn’t see them, they were in the little envelope already and I just had to pop them in the jiffy bag.” She told me.

  “Really? Oh Nadina, Darling, you should have given them the once over, they are utterly poisonous! I was simply mortified when I saw them! You would have had such a laugh.” I did another little laugh. There was silence at the other end. I waited, I wanted to see what she would say. I wondered what she was thinking. I felt she must be feeling uncomfortable but I wasn’t sure quite why. The silence held for a moment too long and began to gather dust.

  When I didn’t speak, she said, in a loud, panicky voice, “Are you there? Cressy? Cressy? Oh dear - I think - Cressy????”

  It was perfectly clear to me she was trying to think on her feet. But you need brains for that. So I simply said, calmly and quietly, “yes, Nadina, I’m still here, I didn’t go anywhere.”

  She gave a little gasp and said, “oh thank God, I thought I’d lost you.”

  “No, I’m still here. You were telling me about the photos?” Another, albeit briefer silence. Then she said, with a shade of desperation, “well, Cressy, I’m so glad you got everything all right. I’m afraid I’m going to have to go now, we’ve got some of Jeremy’s work contacts coming over for cocktails. Take care of yourself, Darling, and next time you’re up in Town, you will drop in, won’t you, it’s been far too long. Ciao!”

  And she was gone. Even whilst she was blustering, at my core I felt calm and still. I knew Nadina was lying to me. The only thing that still puzzled me was why. What was she up to?

  I went and found Matt, half-heartedly watching football on TV, with acres of sofa between him and Sid. I slid into the seat next to him and snuggled up to him, head on his shoulder, my hand tucked into the crook of his arm. Then he looked at me, his expression registering total amazement and I realised this was something I used to do with Thomas – but I hadn’t ever snuggled up to Matt like this before. I started to pull away, but he clamped an arm around me.

  “Oh no you don’t, Missus. Stay right where you are. This is a nice surprise.” He smiled. I smiled. Matt placed a little kiss on my forehead. Sid swore at the referee and the spell was broken. I told Matt about my little chat with Nadina.

  “Sounds like something’s going on.” He said. Clearly the man is a genius.

  “But what?” I said. “And why?”

  “Buggered if I know.” He said.

  I looked down at my belly, gave the bump a little affectionate pat. “See Darling, I knew Daddy would have all the answers.”

  Monday 28 July – 9.15am

  Haven’t done or said or seen anything interesting since Saturday – just decided in the end to devote all day Sunday to ‘Family’. Now we are all calm and relaxed again, and Lill is pretty much back to full fighting-fitness and is ‘interviewing’ her post office contact today at the pub. If it goes well she is planning on bringing this woman back to the house for a walk-through.

  That’s all well and good as far as it goes, though I have to say I’m not looking forward to having a total stranger in the house, however I suppose I went through it when Lill first started, so I can manage again. And Lill has to have someone to help her. The only problem is, there are quite a few secrets in our household and I’m a bit worried about that. Don’t want to give myself away to the new woman. Can’t help feeling it’s going to be a bit of a minefield. What if the new woman doesn’t have Lill’s understanding nature?

  I have persuaded Matt to take me nursery shopping – I want to plan the décor for the new baby’s room. And I thought it might be a good idea to do up the other two children’s room too, spoil them a bit. They are still not ready to have a bedroom each, though goodness knows we have plenty of room, but at least we can make things a bit more exciting and child-friendly.

  So I guarantee that will keep us busy all morning!

  Same day - later – 4.05pm

  Got the most amazing wallpapers, paints and friezes for both the new baby’s room and Billy and Paddy’s. Have purchased some lovely bed linens and seen the perfect cot! Went all teary and daft over the thought of Thomas Sidney lying there in that cot, kicking his little feet in the air, with the pretty covers, and the lovely bumper, the mobiles, everything. It will be a simply gorgeous room. Will have an armchair in the corner too so that we can sit there and cuddle him or I can sit there quietly at night when I get up to him.

  Paddy and Billy were spoilt rotten again too! They were so excited. Got some wonderful over-the-top pinks and lilacs for what will be Billy’s room (I’m predicting a princess theme!) and some manly greens and oranges for Paddy’s jungle slash dinosaur themed room. Because as Matt said, it’s not a bloody interior design catalogue, we can decorate it any way we like - it’s got to please Paddy, not some bleeding fancy-arsed designer. Must remind him what we decided about bad language and small people nearby! At some point in the future the children will probably feel ready to have a room each, and meanwhile, we will decorate the two rooms so they can use the other one just for playing in. Now I am a bit knackered after traipsing around all day and then the emotional toll on top of that, so having a bit of a rest.

  But back to business. How am I going to get to the bottom of this latest crisis? Obviously Nadina herself is not going to help me. And I doubt Jeremy would have the guts to go against her wishes, so he’s out too.

  Who else might know about the bequests Monica made? Her mother? Yes, probably, but I would feel terrible intruding on her grief just a few weeks after her daughter’s death. LOL. So what about one of Monica’s sisters? Erm, wotsit and erm, thingy … oh yes that’s right, Lesley and Samantha. (Rather working class names, aren’t they?) Not at all the kind of names you’d expect a high-ranking military man to foist upon his offspring. I would have expected a Miranda or a Sarah, possibly a Tamsin or a Jessica. Classic. And so much more suitable.

  Anyway. But how to get their contact details? I suppose I could ask Nadina for them – dress it up a bit, you know, say I’d spoken to them at the memorial and had promised to do some copies of my photos of Monica? Maybe Nadina wouldn’t be too suspicious with an excuse like that?

  Here goes!

  Same day – a wee bit later – 4.50pm

  Well that went like a dream – have got an address and a phone number for Lesley. Thought it best to keep to just one sister for the sake of clarity etc – Nadina didn’t seem at all suspicious and didn’t take much convincing, she seemed to just accept everything I said completely at face value! How nice to live in a world where one’s word as a Lady is accepted without question. Even if it is by a sap like Nadina.

  Now then – should I phone or write? How easy is it going to be to explain what I need to know and why, and will I need to somehow prove what I say or anything? I mean I don’t want her phoning Nadina and telling her everything I said. If I’d given this more than half a thought, I could have asked Nadina if she had an email address for Lesley – all the advantages of being able to put your thoughts down in a letter without being interrupted or challenged but without the endless delay for the postman to trawl halfway round the country with the damned envelope.

  But I didn’t think of that. So, biting the bullet, I’m going to ring.

  Dammit – no reply, not even a cheery invitation to “leave a message and we’ll get back to you”
, it just rang and rang and rang. Just how far away is Mansfield? Okay will have to try again later.

  Lill just brought her protégée through – Vera. Not exactly a name for the fates to conjure with, but she seems nice enough. As wide as she is tall. Sometimes wish Lill and I were still on the old Mrs-H-and-Mrs-Barker footing as I really do hate the idea of a new person in the house, poking about, but I hate the idea of doing my own cleaning even more! I suppose I will just have to get used to it. Lill has arranged for this Vera to pop in tomorrow for her first day, and they will, I assume, hash it out between them. And Lill seems pleased, so that’s the main thing. I suppose her kind of work is quite lonely, you’re never really part of a team as a cleaning-lady-cum-cook, are you? So it will be nice for her to have company. She doesn’t have much of a social circle.

  Later still - 9.30pm

  Had another go at ringing Lesley’s number, but still nothing. Decided to Google her address to find out where it is and how to get there (should the need arise). And guess what – I couldn’t find the address on Google – there ain’t no such place! I’ve been had! I think. I mean, it is just about possible that Nadina herself was given the wrong address, it might not necessarily be that she is trying to deceive me or deliberately mess me about. But my gut instinct tells me I was sold a pup as Matt is fond of saying. Nadina is conning me. Just when I thought I’d been wrong to think she was up to something. Now I am convinced she is up to her neck in something I still can’t quite figure out. Will have to think about this very, very carefully. But I will need some help.

  When we had finished dinner and bathed and read to the children and got them off to bed, I nabbed Matt and told him the latest.

  “We need a plan.” He said.

  He’s quick, is Our Matt.

  Tuesday 29 July – 9.30pm